“To thine own self, be true” William Shakespeare.
Be yourself; be true to yourself; do not engage in self-deception
Observing the actions and qualities of others can provide deep insights into our own true aspirations. This experience often elicits two distinct emotional responses: admiration or envy. Envy tends to manifest when we compare ourselves to individuals in our peer group who share similar backgrounds and age, while admiration is directed toward those who excel in fields quite different from our own.
In my early years, I greatly admired adults who possessed knowledge and the gift of eloquence. I looked up to teachers, authors, and public speakers, wishing to cultivate those qualities within myself.
As I entered my college years, physical attributes such as height and appearance gained my attention. In all fairness, I considered myself to be average in these aspects.
During my early professional journey, I held deep admiration for the directors and the chiefs of the firm. They had conquered a challenging experience, earned the respect of their peers, and could effortlessly discuss targets and investments. I yearned for the authority and expertise they displayed.
Upon joining bigger corporates, I found myself in awe of exceptional individuals who seemed to possess almost magical problem-solving abilities. Their talent for tackling complex issues with tranquility made me aspire to mimic their success.
Over time, I also noticed other regional and global leaders who were even more brilliant, leading to mixed feelings of both envy and admiration. It’s fascinating how, once you attain a level of success you once coveted, your mind already sets its sights on a higher objective.
As I turned 40, my focus moved away from knowledge, articulation, physical attributes, and professional success. Instead, I started appreciating authenticity and the simple, unpretentious qualities in people. Kindness and generosity became magnetic forces for me. I’m certain you have friends, family, or acquaintances who possess the gift of giving, going out of their way to support you, even if you haven’t reciprocated in kind. Intellectual proficiency no longer holds the same allure; it sometimes strike me as cold, or overly calculated. In contrast, niceness now draws me in.
The pursuit of success is filled with its share of joys, but it can also harden one’s character. Successful professionals often find themselves making challenging decisions. A successful chief cannot hire their team based on their kindness and a mother can’t send her kids to face the world by being only nice.
I believe that at various stages of life, different qualities in others leave a lasting impression. Dr Nawal Al Saadawi impresses us at one point, then Malala Yousafzai, followed by Jacinda Arden, and ultimately Mother Teresa – the quintessential giver. Even at a great personal cost, Claudette Colvin exemplified perseverance. It took me years to recognize that knowledge may be acquired easily, but it can inflate one’s ego and foster aloofness. Niceness, on the other hand, stems from a pure heart that finds joy in giving more than receiving.
Just as the tongue obsesses over a missing tooth, the mind becomes fixated on what it admires or envies in others. These constant thoughts ultimately guide our actions and shape our destinies. Therefore, it is vital to be mindful and aware of our constant thoughts, as they profoundly influence our ultimate destiny.
Is this a personal sentiment or do you, too, reflect on the qualities in others that attract you?
